Britains Got Dancers, loads of them…

The last semi-final of Britains Got Talent brought forth the usual plethora of dance groups, four from eight of the acts were dancing, one comedian, two lots of singers and a group of musicians.

The dance acts ranged from poor to poor to poor to actually quite good and the actually quite good ones went through to the final, beating the comedian who’s act was exposed as being a one trick pony sort of act, he’d used the best bit in order to qualify for the semi-final, what was left was of poor quality, a bit like eating all the meat from your prime rib steak on the starter course and leaving the bone and gristle for the main.

The death of the comedian

There are no comedians anymore, tv and pc killed them all.

Television and Political Correctness that is.

Television killed the comedian because the comedian makes his living from standing in front of a small live audience in a venue somewhere where they have paid to watch him, and he tells them a succession of often unrelated and very short tales that have a funny ending, here is an example…

You’re good kid, but your dad let you down tonight

Semi-final number three of “Britains Got Talent” and, erm, two more dance acts through to the final, its “Britains Got Dancers” on Saturday night then.

The put-down comment of the night was made to 10 year old Charlie Green, a jazz-singing midget with a squeaky voice who strolled through his audition with a 1950’s crooner classic “The Summer Wind” but last night in his semi-final took the advice of his former Black & White Minstrel father and sang a song that had been written specially for him by a friend of his dad.

“You’re good kid, but your dad let you down tonight” they told him, what on earth does his dad have to say to him this morning to make it right, “I’ll buy you a Scalextric” would be a good start.

You’re a fantastic dance act – but the kids are cuter

Semi-final two of “Britains Got Talent” and the judges are starting to show their cards, as noted yesterday the choice of a dancing dog over a talented show singer smelled a bit of “Cuteness over Talent” and last night was no exception.

The actual “talent” on show last night was minimal, and sometimes embarrassing, a magic act with no magic and an obvious deception trick simply stopped in mid-air, leaving dead air and a “is that it ?” moment for hosts Ant and Dec to squirm around in.

The dog has more talent than you…

“The dog has more talent than you, but you will go far in musical theatre…”

Thus the judges wreaked a damning indictment on both theatrical luvvie-singer Dean Wilson from Middlesboro and the state of British Musical theatre.

Its “Britain’s Got Talent” of course, in which a dancing collie dog can win a place in the final of a competition to find the very best that Britain has to offer by way of entertainment, I understand that as the closing credits rolled on last nights first semi-final Sir Andrew Lloyd Weber was on the phone to SYCO TV requesting permission to audition Gin the Dog for the part of Nancy on BBC’s “For Christ Sake We Can’t Think of Anything Else to Put on Of an Evening” show.

The Turkey Inn

Once upon a time, many, many years ago when the world and I were much younger than now, there existed in the city of Leeds a plethora of pubs serving crap beer.

For centuries brewers had produced ales that were stored in wooden casks and which had to be manually pumped out of the barrel and into the punters glass making the pouring of the ale a fine art, something to behold, the anticipation of a fine pint being heightened by the wait as a buxom barmaid exercised her pecs and buxom bits in the pouring of your pint.

In the Sunday Papers…

Prince Andrew takes Khazakh to the cleaners

Does this one smell a little ?
Why would a person, a very wealthy person admittedly, pay 25% above the asking price, a total of £3million too much, for a house when he is the only bidder and its been up for sale for five years ?

Video Saturday – Steve Earle & Emmylou Harris

Smooth as silk, late night music wafting through your head, four musicians (who play real instruments, and everything), and the voice of an angel combine with absolutely no special effects, no silly dancers to distract, they just play and just sing and can you imagine a more perfect combination of vocals for this subdued, forelorn song, because I can’t.

This one is perfect for headphones and a darkened room in the early hours of the morning – with a glass of malt whisky to assist, oh how I wish I could drink whisky again without it attacking me with hammers and knives.

RTE Radio

So there we were, one afternoon a few months ago, me and Ned out in his car coming back from doing a callout, he’s driving, I’m fiddling with the radio trying to find some station that wasn’t playing shite music or waffling on about footballers and/or immigrants…

And then we found it, the gem on the dial, “Talk to Joe” on RTE Radio One.

I’ve been hooked ever since.

Football and its link to Lonrho

Its very easy to upset them isn’t it ?

Football supporters.

All you do is mention this blog on another internet forum that has nothing whatsoever to do with football and they rant and rave like children trying to get out of a playpen in which there is a big spider – biggest number of hits ever yesterday, most of them frothing at the mouth.

No doubt some will return today to see what other drivel I’ve written about “The Beautiful Game” so we’ll not let them down…