So we get our local gas fitter around to charge us an extraordinary amount of money to fit the pipe that the other gas fitter had removed last night, back on.
And he connects our brand new gas hob and gas comes out and all is fine in the world again, we pay, he goes, we wave him goodbye.
And then Suzanne says “So when you get your bonus are we going back to Comet to get that double oven ?”
My expression obviously says “No” but uses stronger language and I point out that we already have a double oven, its just over there, look, and I point to where the oven sits in the wall, where its always been every day since we moved in here eighteen months ago, surely she’s noticed it ?
“The knobs are different on that one now” she explains patiently in that way that women do when they are explaining things to men, “Its just different”
My jaw has hit the floor in a perfect picture of astound-ment.
“And the top oven doesn’t work” she adds
“Yes it does” I reply
“No it doesn’t” she says
“Yes it does” I reply
“No it DOESN’T” she insists
“Yes it does” I reply
“NO IT DOESN’T” she shouts, “BOII-NNNG !!!” goes the sound of the wok hitting my head to emphasise the point.
I remain subdued, she turns on the top oven and the grill just to prove the point.
We wait until the top oven should surely by now be getting rather hot, she opens the door, it feels hot in there to me but she, having previously insisted that it would be stone cold places her hand on the floor of the oven…
Sizzling flesh ensues
“Ow !!!” she shouts and runs to the tap to douse her burning palm.
I feign a coughing fit to disguise my delight.
“Well its the grill that doesn’t work then” she insists and despite having already been educated the hard way in what not to do when testing an oven that you insist is not working, she places the palm of her other hand against the grill element.
“Eeeeeee-owwwww!!!” she cries in best Tom and Jerry mode and dashes to the sink again to douse her second burned palm, this one has burned track marks going across it from the grill element.
I have to leave the kitchen for I regret to say dear friends that I show not one morsel of remorse and more than an iota of hilarity.
Our top oven works perfectly as I suspected it did all along.
25 years 7 days and still going strong.
Wow, that’s pretty good. Not only is my wife never wrong, but I’ve never had the chance to prove it when I thought she was.
p.s. we’re coming up on 20 years ourselves
Congrats on 20 years of hard slog
Moments when I am right and she is wrong also do not come around very often, I have to be very alert to spot them and then not gloat too much or I’ll have a 7 day sulk on my hands, raising wild tigers in a small farm would have been so much easier.