No, no, no, we’re not selling this one.
Yet.
Although its been 26 months since we bought it, thats already 2.6 times as long as our shortest tenancy.
But back in November 2006 we were selling our previous house and I was in a particularly grumpy mood when I wrote this post.
But its understandable, for when you are selling your house over a six month period you do not get to own your own house any more, it has to be kept in a state of constant readiness for “the potential purchasers”, those people who walk into the estate agents and gather up twenty or thirty brochures in their arms and ask “Can we make arrangements to visit all of these please ?”, the professional house hunters, the ones who just need something to do of a weekend.
And yet, there is something hypnotic about looking inside other peoples houses, and of course its much easier to do that in these days of t’interweb, now that estate agents use their web sites as their shop window, for in estate agents web sites you can get to poke, prod and browse away to your hearts content without leaving the comfort of your own house, in short you get to be nosy during those half hour slots in the evening between the double episode of Coronation St if you can’t face Eastenders that night.
This house for example.
Theres nothing wrong with it, its a perfectly serviceable house for one person to live in, or perhaps two people who are on very good terms with each other, sure its got a 1970′s bathroom suite and its got a 1970′s kitchen, and a 1970′s fireplace that might be just hiding a proper Victorian fireplace like the one in the bedroom, but other than that its a perfectly good house for £110k.
Obviously 19th century, a “through-by-light” stone built terrace…
What ?
“Through-by-light” ?
It means that the house has a front and a back (unlike a “back-to-back” terrace) but there is no exit to the back of the house, theres a window but you don’t own what is beyond it.
Its estate agent spiel.
Compare and contrast with this one
An eight bedroomed bungalow in one of the prime spots in North Yorkshire, sitting in Richmondshire the pseudo-county with the highest number of millionaires per acre than almost anywhere else in the country.
An eight bedroomed bungalow for £650k in Bedale ?
Surely some mistake ?
Take a look at the estate agents online brochure
See anything unusual ?
If you’re buying an eight bedroomed bungalow for £650k in Bedale wouldn’t you, perhaps, want to peek inside it ?
If you’re buying an eight bedroomed bungalow for 650k in Bedale wouldn’t you, perhaps, expect the estate agent to take some photographs of the inside of the eight bedroomed bungalow rather than show you seven photographs of the fields surrounding the property (or maybe not, they could actually be any old fields).
I want to see inside that eight bedroomed £650k bungalow in Bedale, I am now as curious as any curious cat who died of curiosity, I want to see its horrible secrets, I ache to view its “old peoples” carpets, the 1960′s ones that are so heavily patterned that they make your eyes hurt, I desire that “Indian restaurant” maroon flock wallpaper in the lounge that turn your mind immediately towards taking an overdose of whatever is in your drug cupboard, I want to wander those eight bedrooms and ponder on which one the old lady died in, for this is a prime candidate for one of those property’s where an old batty lady and her forty eight cats co-habit for thirty years after her wealthy husband departs this earth, he having grafted all his adult life to purchase this once proud eight bedroomed £650k bungalow in Bedale, when he bought it it was the pride of the county, an eight bedroomed bungalow in Bedale and he was mighty proud of his lifes achievement, only to die the following year of boredom and a duff heart leaving his wife to go steadily batty and the cats to move in.
The clues are all there…
“Stone style flagged floor” – WTF – stone “style” ???
“Oak style” kitchen cupboards, “Wood effect” work surfaces ??? – thats formica then
“Beamed ceiling” – in a modern bungalow ??? – two by two’s painted brown then
“Three piece coloured suite” in each bathroom ??? – 1980′s avacodo or 1960′s piss yellow – mmmmm, classy
“Part secondary double glazing” ??? – they’ve stuck cellophane to the inside of the window frames, but only on some windows.
Welcome to my new hobby…
