Well quite frankly I’m gutted that poor John & Edward were booted off X Factor last night thus destroying in one fell swoop my conviction that anyone, I mean anyone, talent or no talent, can have a UK Singles Chart Number One over christmas.
I quote Rolf Harris, Benny Hill, Mr Blobby, Little Jimmy Osmond and Winifred Atwell and rest my case.
My family are also gutted that I now have no object of support left on the show and instead will revert to my normal X Factor mode of derision, withering pointed criticism of the gaggle of remaining no-marks who would have to consider themselves lucky to be handed the mic for one song at The Wise Owl Talent Contest night, a talent contest that was dominated by a well-known cousin of mine and his mate Pouch demonstrating their knowledge of at least two Shadows tunes, and a drunk old lad doing Popeye impressions.
There is no doubt that one of the remaining X Factor finalists will have the number one UK single at christmas, in the same way that there is no doubt that the same person will never be heard from again, having disappeared into the Syco Pop Star Machine and being spat out into the skip marked “also ran”.
And then there was Susan Boyle…
My god, I never thought I’d live to witness the day when someone could take a classic Rolling Stones song, cover it, and make it sound so bad that I wouldn’t actually recognise what it was until the performer was halfway through – it takes some impressive talent to be able to do that, I’m not sure what you could do with a talent to destroy songs like that, maybe a summer season in Skegness, but still, impressive anyway, “Wild Horses” who would have thought it eh ?
The only fun thing left for me now is to vote for Katie Price to do another Bush Tucker Trial, I don’t think that woman has done enough work in that camp yet, its costing a fortune for me to keep voting for her on Suzannes mobile phone, and shes starting to wonder where that £10 credit that she put on it on Friday has gone, I do hope she tops it up today…
But fear not, I still believe that some of the younger generations have the ability to dscern between the current mainstream pop nonsense & actual quality.
Case in point. Some time ago I came downstairs to find George (eldest, 11) stood in the living room stock still staring wide -eyed at the TV. Some Top of the Pops2 type program was showing that classic clip of Stevie Wonder playing Superstition on the Muppet Show (search for it on Youtube – it’s ace.)
As I walked into the room he was clearly transfixed “Y’allright fella” I said.
“Who…. is that ?”
“Oh yeah Stevie Wonder, he’s pretty good isn’t he”
“This….is….awseome”
Shame about the typical ‘yoof’ parlance but the lad was clearly having one of those seminal moments I can only relate to the first time I heard such riffs as ‘Layla’ or ‘Sweet Home Alabama’, you know, the back of the neck stuff.
Since then George’s guitar noodling has been dominated by him recreating that Hammond riff which isn’t easy but he’s got it & he takes great pride in rattling it off to his mates.
But yes, I think my point is that quality WILL endure & kids with decent ears who want to take the time, know the difference.
There was a documentary on TV last year about the making of “Songs in the Key of Life” which is simply not just the best Stevie Wonder album but possibly the best album of the 70s, and in it they interviewed a lot of Stevie Wonders band who are as much in awe of him as anyone.
Not too much in awe as to take the piss out of him constantly though – their favourite line was “Don’t step on the alligator Stevie” when he walked in the room
Yeah, someone gave him a cheese grater.
He said it was the most violent book he’d ever read !