…and then the wise men came

I don’t think its that star any more.
Wha-aaat?
How do you mean, you don’t think its that star any more, you told us it was…
Yeah, you told us it was that star, you told us eighteen bloody months ago
Well, I just don’t think it is that one any more, it might be a different one
Which one ?
I don’t know, there are quite a few you know
I know there are quite a few, I can see them every night
More stars than grains of sand in this bloody desert
What gave you the idea of following a star anyway ?
An angel told me
Huh ?
A what ?
An angel, he came down from heaven and told me to follow a bright star
Did this angel from heaven tell you why you should follow it, oh lunatic one ?
No, just said it would be a good idea
I knew he was mad
I told you he was mad when we set off
I know you did, and I agreed with you
So why did we come ?
Well for one thing he said it would only take two days
Yeah he did didn’t he, how long has it been ?
Eighteen months now, I think
And how many times have we been around this desert ?
I reckon at least five times
Its three
What ?
Its just three times lads, that tree there ? We passed it six months ago and again when we first started out
So where are we going then ?
The angel just said to follow the star, he didn’t say why
And another thing, why did he make it a star ?
I don’t follow you …
Well we can only follow the bloody star at night, why couldn’t he make it something we could see in the daytime ?
What like ?
A donkey, if we’d have followed a donkey we’d have been there by now
Thats a stupid idea, I’d never have set off if he’d said “Follow a donkey to Bethlehem…”

What did you just say ?
What ?
What did you just say then ?
A donkey ?
No, the bit just after that
I can’t remember
You said Bethlehem
Bethlehem ?
Yes, Bethlehem
No I didn’t
You bloody did, didn’t he ?
Yep, I heard you say Bethlehem, “follow a donkey to Bethlehem” you said
No, I said it would be stupid if the angel said “follow a donkey to Bethlehem”
So why did you say Bethlehem
Yeah, why Bethlehem
Well, I don’t know
Did the angel mention Bethlehem at all ?
Might have done
Well did he ?
Possibly
You bloody cretin, I know the way to Bethlehem
Me too, we could have gone straight to Bethlehem
Two days, tops
Eighteen bloody months we’ve been walking around this bloody desert at night
I’ve lost eight pairs of sandals somewhere in this desert
Sorry lads, I forgot

And so they arrived in Bethlehem eighteen months after the birth of Jesus, and Jesus, his mother and the man that was married to his mother but was not his father, had gone back to their home in Nazareth seventeen months and two weeks earlier and when Herod heard of this he ordered the execution, not as the bible says of all the male born under two years of age, but of all wise men who proclaim that angels tell them to follow stars at night.

Here endeth the season of the Nativity.

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