Its a genre of journo that I have rarely encountered until recently.
And I am astounded.
Astounded that people can get paid real money for spouting crap about nothing.
It would be like me getting paid to write this blog.
Let me explain…
I am in the market for a new car and like all things that happen to me, looking for a new car is not simple. In short the Inland Revenue were bleeding every ounce of marrow out of my bones for the one simple reason that I had a large company car – to put it very very simply, if I earned nothing at all for the rest of this tax year, if I worked for free from now until April 2011, I would still owe the Inland Revenue nearly £2800 just for the pleasure of having a large company car sitting on my driveway.
Which is what it did, it sat on my driveway for my job now involves no driving to visit clients at all, the car sat on my driveway for weeks at a time without me using it – so I gave it back to the company and I agreed a small increase to my stipend in lieu.
Now I would be happy to leave it at that but for some reason the females who live at the same address as I do all insist that I need to replace it with a similar self propelled road vehicle other than my bike, for they have a need to be transported to college, university, and the shops, on a regular basis, and they will not do so by the publicly available transportation in this good city.
So I am in the market for a new car.
And I haven’t a clue what I want, worse still, I have very little interest in cars.
I have almost the same level of interest in cars as the people who sell them in main dealers for never have I ever met a breed of salesperson who goes so far out of their way NOT to sell you their product and to do their utmost to actually ignore you right through the process of admiring and then enquiring about the vehicles in their showroom.
Long gone are the days when you would be pounced upon by an eager sales rep just for peering in the window of a car showroom, now you have to spend a minimum of half an hour in the place sitting in one of their display cars pretending to drive the thing and making noises like “brummm, brummm”, open and slam shut all of the doors , and crouch down to admire the lines as if a golfer lining up a shot – then you have to go and sit at the sales rep’s desk, in front of him/her and cough very loudly for ten or so minutes before they will glance at you from whatever is captivating their attention on their computer monitor – only then will they deign to ask, “Can I help you sir ?”
I visited our local Seat dealer last weekend and I drove the Seat Leon, a car made remarkable for being utterly boring.
But here is what the journo at Auto Express thinks…
Mainstream Leons are available with a wide range of engines. The 1.6-litre petrol is most popular, and is an effective engine, albeit throbby and in need of revving. Diesels are rightly popular, and the 2.0-litre TDI is rattly but otherwise impressive. Not so the ageing 1.9-litre TDI, which is lethargic when accelerating. Around town, the sudden power delivery can also make it hard to drive. However, all Leons are blessed with agile handling. Steering is particularly good, with ample feedback making it involving to drive. It’s also responsive and agile, boasting good levels of grip and minimal body roll. Brake feel impresses too – even the five- and six-speed gearboxes are positive and snappy. But as with most SEATs, the ride is pretty firm and can become a little uncomfortable around town and on rutted surfaces. It’s better on the motorway, but there is noticeable road noise.
I haven’t a clue what he is talking about.
A throbby, rattly engine ?
Sudden power delivery ?
Agile handling ?
Ample steering feedback ?
Involving to drive ?
Snappy gear box ?
Here is my review of the Seat Leon 1.9TDi SE Ecomotive that I drove last Saturday…
.
Last Saturday I went for a test drive in a Seat Leon 1.9TDi SE Ecomotive, the nice man in the suit said I could drive it for one mile up and down a nearby dual carriageway.
It can go quite fast when you press the accelerator.
It can go all the way around a roundabout in third gear and the tyres don’t squeal.
It has lots of grey plastic inside and its quite boring.
It was OK
.
And so he quoted me for one, and it was too expensive, and so I rang him back on Tuesday to ask him if he could make it cheaper, he was “not at his desk” but the nice lady on reception said she’d get him to ring me back, to date he has not done so.
Which is actually better than the young blond bit of fluff that showed us the VW Golf at the VW dealership, when questioned as to whether they did a low emission version (no road tax, I like) she didn’t know, hadn’t heard of the zero road fund licence versions, thought that the VW Bluemotion versions just had a bit more chrome on them.
I’ve rung her back three times since, she has not returned any calls.
Its very hard to buy a new car in the UK, no-one seems to want to sell you one.
