Archive | December 2010
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New Years Eve
New Years Eve I bloody hate it. I’ve always bloody hated it ever since that party at a random strangers house when I got bladdered off my face on Teachers Whisky and went out into the garden for a piss, like you do, and fell over a motorbike that some idiot had carelessly left lying [...]
How to Piss Off an Australian, 2010
This is starting to be a habit, its almost like Easter coming around every year at a slightly different time – two years ago after the Beijing Olympics (in which Gt Britain had handsomely whooped Australia’s sullen arse in the medals table) I wrote a post called “How to Piss Off an Australian” which got [...]
That first Christmas tree
1981 was my first Christmas as a home-owner. Admittedly it was a small home, a flat, or as they say now “an apartment”, either of those descriptions would flatter what I owned, for £9400 I had purchased two rooms on the top floor of a two storey block of twelve such dwellings accessed from an [...]
Making things up…
50cm x 20cm Acrylic on box mounted canvas Two cheap box mounted canvas’s (£1.50 each), ten minutes spare time whilst on xmas holiday and two made up views, the top one was supposed to be a field with a hill in the background, but then the sea appeared, it works like that sometimes.
Mothers Mince Pies
Our mothers christmas mince pies were the stuff that legends are made of, legends and patio bases actually. I’m not saying that they were completely inedible, a person would always manage to eat one just to be polite, it was very difficult to find anyone who’d be prepared to go on to devour a second [...]
Merry Christmas
Merry Christmas everyone, from me and the fairy bear sat on my desk… …from the Angel bear on the white christmas tree …and for some strange reason, from the Eeyore on the christmas tree.
Fairy Helpline
Its a serious topic, every year hundreds of christmas tree fairies are physically abused by their owners, lets all stop this now, zero tolerance of fairy abuse should be our target for next Christmas, remember, its not big and its not clever. My family are seeking an injunction on my drawings, they can’t stop me [...]
The evil santa
This one brought the compliments flooding in from my own family, “Dad, thats sick” “I don’t know whats going on inside your head these days” “You need help” Is what they said, and more, wait ’till you see tomorrows.
Deep and crisp and even…
The sub title for this one is “This is the last bloody year I do this, my back is bloody killing me…”
Joe the Butcher
Time for the annual recital of the (true) Joe the Butcher story. Joe the Butcher was, of course, a butcher, a traditional butcher in those days when proper butchers worked from small shops and chopped the meat up there in front of your eyes and nothing was available already cut, weighed and shrink wrapped from [...]
