Canada Goose

Acrylic on canvas 40cm x 25cm


The Canada Geese came back every spring, or was that every autumn, I forget now, it must have been spring because as kids we hunted for their eggs, so we’ll say it was spring, although it might not have been.

Anyway, they came back every year and every year they nested on the island in the middle of a local lake where they sat and laughed at us, safe in the knowledge that we had not the brains nor the means to get across there and plunder their eggs for our collections.

Until Stuart Ackroyd had one of his good ideas.

This good idea, like all of his good ideas, was rubbish but as it only involved him risking his own life we happily went along with it, nay, encouraged him to strip to his underpants on a cold spring Saturday afternoon, blow up the li-lo that he’d snaffled from his dads garage and row himself out to the island.

It would have worked too, if he’d only remembered to put the stopper back nice and tight in the blowy-up stopper hole thingy, but he didn’t, and it came out halfway across the pond.

So here is the conundrum for you – imagine a single bed sized li-lo fully inflated being sat upon by an 11 year old boy, now imagine that you remove the blowy-up stopper thingy – how many minutes do you think that boy would have to turn the li-lo around in the water and row like hell across the fifty yards of water that separated him and the shore ?

The answer is less than one minute, much less than one minute, he’d only got the thing turned around before it sank and he was pitched into the freezing cold lake.

I can’t tell you how much we laughed, but it was a lot, and the geese laughed too, we could hear them all the shivering way home.


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