Its the story of one of those grey-bearded know-it-alls who creates a “society” or “activist group” for a previously unheard of, obscure and bizarre cause and then seeks out maximum publicity by doing something outrageous and hence outraging a newspaper columnist.
OK, so I don’t know if the person in question has a grey beard, but most of them do, it would however be ironic if the man in question did have a grey beard since his obscure and bizarre cause is opposed to the grey squirrels domination of the English countryside in favour of the red squirrel.
Frankly I have just a tad more to do with my life than worry about squirrels and have thus far successfully lived my life under the rule of law that says that nature usually formats its own, in other words if the red squirrel grew some balls then it would see off any neighbouring grey squirrels, the fact that this does not happen can be written down and summarised in one word “Nature”, thats the way its is.
It was the same situation last year when we partly demolished a hedge in our garden and exposed a blackbirds nest with four chicks in it, after our escapade the chicks sat perched in their nest on top of the hedge rather than hidden inside it – Smithy was distraught and rang me incessantly over several days asking if the chicks were still safe and I lied to him until the day I told him they had now all grown up and flown away – in truth some Magpies ate them as soon as we turned our back on the nest – Nature.
So this self-proclaimed saviour of the red squirrel caught himself a grey one and drowned it, then rang the RSPCA up and told them, challenging them to prosecute him for cruelty as he proclaims to have immunity from such, the grey squirrel being, in his eyes, “a pest”.
And reading the report reminded me of a conversation I had in a pub with an old friend of ours last month – the topic of conversation somehow wound its way around the houses until it came to bird watching and he revealed that he was an avid bird watcher and as I mentioned the tale of the chicks in the nest being eaten by Magpies and Smithy fainted as my subterfuge in the affair, this other person revealed that grey squirrels were the biggest culprit for taking chicks from nests for culinary purposes, and to this effect he regularly caught grey squirrels in some cages that he had bought specially for doing so – and then he regularly dumped the cage, interred squirrel and all, in a water butt – which was strangely the exact same method of disposal that the grey beard in the story used.
And the RSPCA lost their case, so look out grey tree-rats.