The Framley Examiner

On those days when there is not enough money in the bank account to pay all the bills next week, when the summers nearly over and there’s a hint of chill in the air, when your car’s just cost a grand to get through its MOT and now the fooking exhaust is blowing too, on days like these I always turn to The Framley Examiner and especially to its Classified Ads…

Its nonsense humour of course, in the best English tradition of nonsense humour for where would The Framley Examiner be without the likes of Spike Milligan, Monty Python or The Goons, and without pausing for breath I delve into the classifieds to find classics like …

“John Grisham Novels, full set, some hardback, some paperback, some not by John Grisham, some not books, load of old stuff in a bag, Ring Me…”

“Stretch Armstrong with worsening hernia hence offers 07999 384798”

“Car, house and various expensive electrical consumer goods, £3, call now while I’m drunk, 01999 we got cut off”

and the classic “Hello, this is a message for Adrian in the classifieds department, Adrian its your mum can you bring a packet of fish fingers home for your tea, haddock not cod you know how it upsets your father. Ring me before you leave 01999 262903”

Its one for bookmarking, use when burdened by life…

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