April Fools Day

April Fools Day – how tiresome.

It was usually the fat unpopular kids, the ones who weren’t members of any gangs, who tried out the old tired April Fools gags, they and newspapers and news media are the only ones who still try it on.

“Hey look, someone’s painted all the trees blue – HA! April Fool !!!”
“You were the fat unpopular kid at school weren’t you ?”


Exclusive Report From Yorkshire Spaghetti Farm

“Dear The Editor, Your newspaper is the fat unpopular newspaper at John Menzies isn’t it ?”



And then one day the reverse psychology got me, hook, line and sinker.

It will be hard to imagine I know but I once was a member of a gym, yes its true, someone once took on the job of honing this considerable frame into a racing snake like physical specimen, they failed of course, but not before I had spent several thousand pounds in assisting them in their failure.

So I turn up at the gym on the evening of April 1st some years ago and the cheery chap on the reception desk hands me my towel and cheerily tells me “You have to use the Ladies changing rooms today”


Thats the sound of me slapping him across the back of the head for trying to catch me out with such a lame excuse of an April fools Day joke, “do you really think that I am so stupid ?” I asked and then told him not to answer that question and left him rubbing the back of his head stuttering, “No really, wait…”

So I get to the two doors into the changing and shower rooms, left for the Ladies, right for the Gents, and sure enough, the buffoon on the desk has even gone so far as to pin a hastily hand written sign to each door, the one on the Gents changing room door reads “Gentlemen, due to building work please use the Ladies changing rooms for today only”.

I nearly strode back to the desk and gave him another slap.

So I go into the normal Gents changing room.

There is a lady in there, in fact she’s using my peg, and she’s drying herself with a towel, fortunately she has her back turned to me and I hurriedly back out of the changing room without her realising that I’d just seen her considerable arse.

The kid from the reception desk is stood outside, “Its the tiling work” he explains, “The tilers didn’t finish doing the Ladies room last night so we swapped the changing rooms over until they do”

I nearly slapped him again

Doh !



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