Throwing stuff out…

My wife’s family had strange ways, with particular regard to food also.

Sell by dates for instance, they mean nothing to my wife, nor did they to her mother. My wife threw out a jar of marmalade last week that still had at least two more days worth of spreading in it and that was even before you started scraping around the edge of the jar and finally in desperation the screw thread of the rim.

I couldn’t believe it, particularly as I’m the only one who uses marmalade in the house, why I didn’t even know that anyone else knew that we had marmalade in the fridge but I went for it last week for me brekkie toast and there it was, gone.

“Oy. wheres me marmalade ?” I cried
“I threw it out yesterday” she replied
“Whaa-why ?” I cried in anguish
“It was nearly empty” she replied
“Yes, nearly empty, but not ACTUALLY empty”
“Well no-one else uses it anyway” she dismissed me as if that were reason enough to throw away two days worth of marmalade not forgetting scraping around the edge and then the emergency reserve in the screw thread

“Well have you got some more then ?” I pleaded

Devastated, brekkie toast with no marmalade, even the down and outs at The Crypt get marmalade on their toast.

And why had she thrown it out, was it past its “Use By” date ?

No, she threw it out because it was nearly empty and it was taking up room in the fridge, thats the huge big “American” fridge that she insisted on buying because “there’s bags of room inside it” and you can almost walk around inside it and there’s loads of room for one nearly empty jar of marmalade, loads of room.

She throws food out at random, hardly anything ever reaches its “Use By” date in our house, it works one of two ways…

1. She buys something and puts it in the fridge, everyone eats it on the first day and then ten days later she goes back and says “Where’s that thing I bought specially for myself ?”

2. She buys something and puts it in the fridge, everyone leaves it because they don’t want her shouting at them for eating the special thing and then two days later she sees it int he fridge and says “Well that was a waste of money, don’t ever ask me to buy THAT again” and she throws it in the bin.

Stark, raving, mad.

But her family were the same too, I blame her parents – now this next bit is absolutely true, I’d swear on a bible if I believed even half of the stuff in there so I’ll swear on “The Eagle Annual 1956” instead…

Her father used to throw ice cubes out of the freezer because, and I quote, “they’ve gone off”.

Yes, his ice cubes had a “Use By” date apparently, he didn’t like ice cubes that were “cloudy”, he only liked them to be crystal clear so when they went cloudy, to him they had “gone off” and he would actually throw them in the bin rather than in the sink to melt.



Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )


Connecting to %s