In 1980 the Olympic Games were held in Moscow and because earlier that year the USSR had invaded Afghanistan, apparently at the invitation of the Afghanistan government (whenever the USSR invaded anywhere it was always by invitation, very polite they were), anyway, because they had invaded Afghanistan the President of the United States of America, Jimmy Carter, declared a boycott on the games by any USA team.
Lord Sebastian Newbold Coe, Baron Coe KBE was a British middle distance runner at the time and did quite well at the Moscow Olympic Games, coming home with a gold medal for the 1500 metres and silver for the 800 metres, but ever since, everyone, (me mainly) has always devalued this magnificent achievement by reminding him that he didn’t race against the USA, as he should have.
In 1984 the Olympic Games were held in Los Angeles and because the USA had boycotted the Moscow Olympics four years earlier (see above – have you forgotten already), the USSR and lots of its commie-bastard allies (as Ronald (Did the earth move for you Nancy?) Reagan so quaintly referred to them as) declared a boycott on the games.
Lord Sebastian Newbold Coe, Baron Coe KBE was a British middle distance runner at the time and did quite well at the Los Angeles Olympic Games winning gold in the 1500 metres and silver in the 800 metres (can you see a pattern emerging) but ever since, everyone, (me mainly) has always devalued this magnificent achievement by reminding him that he didn’t race against the USSR, as he should have.
All of which makes for even sadder reading that Lord Sebastian Newbold Coe, Baron Coe KBE’s finest achievement has been overshadowed in the cruelest manner by yet another Olympic Games boycott.
In 2005 Lord Sebastian Newbold Coe, Baron Coe KBE led the British delegation to win the Olympic Games for London in 2012, yes, the same ones as are going on right now, he was responsible for bringing them to this country, Lord Sebastian Newbold Coe, Baron Coe KBE, he is personally paying the whole bill for the whole lot, I think, and he’s buying every athlete a round of drinks in the Jesse Owen Public House inside the Olympic village, except for the German team who have boycotted the bar.
Devaluing this magnificent achievement, this wonderful cacophony of sporting excellence that is currently bespoiling our televisual choice of an evening, “Which channel do we watch for another GB medal mum?”, this once in a lifetime (unless you count 1948 and 1908) event, this marvellous explosion of purple and red, the eternal question on everyones lips, “What the fuck are those mascots ?”, devaluing all of this as if it were a mere run around in a park on a Sunday afternoon, is this shocking and terrible boycotting of The Games by Australia.
They haven’t yet explained why they’ve boycotted London 2012, we suspect it may be that we won far more medals than they did in Beijing, and personally I’ve noticed a huge number of hits this year on the post I wrote four years ago called “How To Piss Off An Australian” and I suspect that it may have somehow come to the attention of their High Commissioner, or whatever title we give to Her Majesty’s Ruler In The Absence Of Her Majesty in Australia, I believe that they may have boycotted London 2012 because they knew they’d be rubbish at sportsday again and didn’t want to have the piss taken, by me.
Its a bit like the kid at school who spends all year telling everyone how good he is at everything and then when sportsday comes around on the last day of the summer term he brings a note from his mum saying that he’s got a cold and can’t run anywhere today only its in his handwriting and he’s signed it “My Mum”.
I can’t think of any other good reason why Australia should boycott London 2012 but the real mystery is that they haven’t announced anything, most political boycotts are trumpeted from the watchtower by the boycott-ee, see above for example by the USA and USSR (have you forgotten already), they made great political gain from their boycotts and no-one was left in any doubt as to why they were doing the thing – to help Lord Sebastian Newbold Coe, Baron Coe KBE win gold in the 1500m and silver in the 800m twice was only one of those reasons.
They didn’t announce anything, they just didn’t turn up, we waited for them at the airport for ages and they never came and if you don’t believe me have a look at the medal table, they are nowhere to be seen, its such a shame and its right taken the gild off Lord Sebastian Newbold Coe, Baron Coe KBE’s finest achievement I’ll tell you, shame on you Australia, you should have at least send a note from your mum.