Weird dreams – episode two

A new extension to the house

From time to time I can have some very weird dreams with or without cheese for supper or any other artificial dream enhancement, notably the weirdest of dreams are fully recollected the next morning and the recollections are usually accompanied by amusement as they can be very weird indeed.

Example two involves home improvements and the fact that I desired in my dream to add an extension to the back of the house that we currently live in, this wasn’t some imaginary house in an imaginary street but the real house that we live in now and the real neighbours.

Both our neighbours have extended the backs of their houses and in my dream I decided that it was high time that we did too and so I rang the Nationwide Building Society and asked to borrow another £30k on the mortgage and without much ado at all they said OK and as we spoke I looked at the bank account online and saw that they’d sent the money already, how excellent, they are nice people at the Nationwide so this bit does not surprise me at all, I’m sure this is how it would work even outside of a dream.

So we set about deciding what sort of extension we desired on the back of the house and who should build it. In no time at all I had quickly sketched what I had in mind and in the way that happens in all dreams a builder stepped forward out of the mist and recommended that he did the job for slightly less than £30k, I was happy with this and so I showed him the big pile of materials that had suddenly arrived and the plans that I had drawn and he stood and looked at them for a long time.

“I can’t build this” he said

“Why ?” I asked

“Its a glazier that you need” he replied “I’m a builder, I do bricks, this extension is just made of glass”

And indeed it was for what I thought would be a jolly good idea would be to have a sort of glass atrium on the back of my house, it would be about twelve foot square so as not to go outside the footprint of the normal house extensions on either side, but in order to impress the whole street I had designed my atrium to be around fifty feet high, after all if you’re going to have an atrium in your house then you may as well have a tall one.

Of course this meant that the extension would be much higher than the rest of the house, indeed it would be much higher than anything in the district and you’d be able to see it from miles around, but this only seemed to make it more attractive to me, I had a vision of me sitting in my glass house extension reading the newspapers while high above me the clouds would be scudding across my roof, couldn’t see what was wrong with that at all.

We had a long and heated discussion, me and the builder, and he was adamant that it wasn’t a job that he could undertake and didn’t I want a nice normal brick extension like both my neighbours but I pointed to the big pile of sheet glass and asked him what on earth I’d do with all of this then, to which he had no answer.

My wife wasn’t all that impressed either, having increased our mortgage by £30k she thought we’d be getting a nice new kitchen extension yet here I was telling her that I’d gone for a glass tower instead, “And how am I going to clean it ?” she asked, probably not an unreasonable question but I had no answer to this, for why should that be a concern to me, “and what about curtains ?” she added for good measure and I had to admit she had a point for I’d never seen a set of curtains in Boundary Mills with a 12 foot width and 50 foot drop before.

Its a good job that I woke up at this point because a proper row was starting to develop.

Just checked the bank, the £30k wasn’t true either.

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